Wednesday, 18 March 2009
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Pregnancy Updates and Fears
Okay so yesterday, I went to the doctor. Well after a thorough interview, I was informed of my high risk status. And was put in a state of shock. Apparently I am at a higher risk for blood clots (which cause DVT's, aneurysms, strokes, and heart attacks) than normal pregnant women because my blood clots very quickly. Now I have to give myself Lovenox injections everyday for the next year. This is scary for me, because my options now are this: Do I want a blood clot that can kill me instantaneously or do I want the risk of hemorrhaging to death and giving them the opportunity to save my life? Both of these options are scary and of course causing my nightmares to get worse.
Everyone just told me to be careful. Try not to bump into anything, keep gauze around just in case I get a cut, no horse-playing. I also heard that an epidural will not be offered to me due to risks of hemorrhage or hematomas of the spine. Okay so now I am frightened. I want this baby sooo much but I keep thinking of everything that could happen. I am afraid I may not be able to hold my baby or that something bad is going to happen. I know Kenny could not handle loosing me. He doesn't even want to discuss the possibility of what needs to happen if something bad happens. Of course I want to make sure that every possibility is covered and if God forbid something happens that he is prepared and understands his options.
I don't know what the next year is going to bring for me and my family. I am going to pray for the best outcome and hope it is the safety of the baby and myself. I am going to try and breathe in and out and not think of the risks, because I still have 32 weeks to go and that is a lot of time to panic and I don't need to panic I know that I need to stay calm.
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Comments (16)
I know nothing I say can calm your fears. But I hope that you will be able to get past the fears they can harm you and baby just as much as not taking the meds can.
I will pray for heath for you and baby as well as easing of yoru fears
Just Breathe in and Breathe out several times a day for about 10 - 15 minutes, while stroking your belly and sending love thoughts to the baby.
Remember, God is with you and no matter what happens you will always be okay with God.
We love you and will be with you the whole way, too.
Sending out lots of positive thoughts.
I think the second option sounds better... at least they would have the opportunity to save your life if anything bad happened.
Hang in there, hun.
I'm praying for you.......
Take it one day at a time and be careful.......xo
you are in my thoughts.
Wow your pregnant! Congrats! Why are you high risk? I'll keep you in our prayer and just try to relax and breathe and enjoy your pregnancy :)
You are in my thoughts. And I know it's easy to say from my end, but try not to worry too much. (((((hugs)))))
hugs for you and also prayers for you and your little one
You need to keep positive thoughts in your heart and mind. Everything will be okay. I'll be praying for you....
HUGS
I believe in God, and I think you do too.
If you relax and let the doctor guide you in this, you will be OK. Many hemophilacs live with this fear daily. Ask your doctor for advice on the medication, and how to live your life for the next year, and what is recommended that you can and can not do for your own safety, just as he has told you about the epideral. You are intelligent, and have some medical training. You will be doing it for the baby, and for yourself. You have a lot to face with this pregnancy, but think of the love you feel already for the child.
Keep The Faith
Good luck. With all the crappy parents out there, good, loving moms deserve babies...I'll be thinking about you. :)
I don't really think that there is anything that I can say that you don't already know. But, I will say it anyway, just for reinforcement. I love you, I am ALWAYS thinking of you, and keep in mind. I can feel everything that you feel. So, don't hurt me. J/K. Take it easy and TRY to stay stress free.
Don't know if this could help or not - but when I was pregnant I bought a pregnancy meditation CD off ebay and listened to it a few times a week and it really helped keep me calm - I was high risk too and having that CD really did make a difference. I think I must have passed it on to a friend because I can't find it to give you the name - but do a google search and see if you can find one. If nothing else, it will give you some quiet time, but it may also help ease fears and give you some peace. :O) Will keep you in my prayers too...
hugs,
aimee
God will bring you thru this.. Much luck and love.. Hang in there..